Honest Trailers - Teen Titans
by The 21st Century Pendragon
Summary: Here is a real, honest take of DC's Fab Five that everybody loves before they are bastardized. And an authentic reaction from the Titans themselves.
1. Teen Titans

After the battle in Tokyo, numerous tributes for Teen Titans pop out in the Internet. From parodies to remixes, they are everywhere.

However, that idea has not come across to a quartet of nerds who are known for making parody trailers.

Until one time, one guy brings it to the table.

"Hey, how about we do an Honest Trailer for a DC show?" a guy who looks like Kevin Smith proposes to his buddies.

"Haven't we done that for The Flash?" one guy who looks like Dean Pelton brings it up.

"No, but we have to do something fresh. Something still boiling in our blood."

"How about we do _Gotham_?" one guy who looks like Mark Zuckerberg suggests.

"Nahh, too easy."

"Or maybe any of the DC Animated Movies in direct-to-DVD?" the Dean Pelton lookalike shares.

Then, the host of the show pops out an idea. "How about we do a DC Animated show?"

"Sure, like what?" the Kevin Smith lookalike asks.

"Maybe something from Cartoon Network that had a great run but had a bad reboot."

"That could be arranged," the Mark Zuckerberg lookalike agrees.

"Great. Call on Jon because we have a treat for the Teen Titans!"

* * *

With that, the group crafts a parody trailer for _Teen Titans_ and a side comment on their negatively received follow-up. But before being released online, they send the video to the fab five themselves for their personal approval and blessing.

At a click of the play button, the video starts with numerous requests from fans. With the logo flashes, the narration from the epic voice guy with superhero movie epic voice begins with related clips guided along the way, " **From the DC Comics Animated Universe that also gave us Krypto the Superdog comes one of the best shows that Cartoon Network has ever released…because American animators can finally do an anime style that _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ copied. _Teen Titans_.**"

After the title card is flashed, the epic voice continues with a glimpse on the history. " **Return to a time when Cartoon Network is at its prime with feel-good shows and groundbreaking cartoons…** " Examples of those shows including _Ed, Edd & Eddy_, _Codename: Kids Next Door_ , _Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends_ (as feel-good shows), _Samurai Jack_ , _Justice League_ and _Star Wars: The Clone Wars_ (as groundbreaking cartoons) are shown on screen. But the epic-voiced narrator considers the low points of the channel, citing _The High Fructose Adventures of Annoying Orange_ and _Uncle Grandpa_ as prime examples. **"…until they completely given up from good quality. And relive the series that you have grown to love and groaned when they rebooted into their annoying chibi versions because that was the best part of _Teen Titans_ , right?**" When a clip of _Teen Titans Go_ is shown, the narrator groans, "Why?!" The Titans react the same way.

Nevertheless, he goes on with the rest of the trailer taking the sincerest, comical take of the Titans. " **Meet the Titans, who are somehow not affiliated to the Justice League. There's Robin, who is thankfully not wearing the white tights that Burt Ward wore in the 60's, though still having the same bratty voice as he does.** " Accompanying that is a montage showing Robin shouting on his prepubescent voice.

The narration continues, " **There's Starfire, an alien humanoid princess? whose most ultimate power include…emotional tantrums. There's Cyborg, the fried chicken-munching second-in-command to Robin…but who is also the comic relief…** "

Realizing he is verging into stereotyping Cyborg, the epic voice guy defends, " **But he has more character than that, folks.** " Thus, he continues, " **There's Raven, a Dark Magician telekinesis-wielding emo who summons her power with a very unrecognizable catchphrase**."

When a clip of Raven dictating her incantation "Azarath Metrion Zinthos", the epic voice guy tries to interpret it. " **Azeroth Petrol Santa Claus?** ".

" **And there's Beast Boy, who is a better singer than his rapping cohorts.** " Then a clip of the Beastie Boys is shown. But the narrator goes back on track, " **Oh, and he morphs into wild animals that Greenpeace would protect with their whole lives.** " As various clips of Beast Boy's morphs are shown, the narrator asks this out of nowhere, " **So, what if he gets poached? Will the poachers discover his identity?** "

But he still continues with the script, dissecting the series elements altogether, " **Together, with a barrage of DC superhero supporting cast and villains, they have to use their ultimate powers and fight against…everyday teenage struggles like thinking what to eat, thinking what to pack and thinking what everyone thinks of me. Add to that is a set of betrayals, the clutches from their enemy who is not at all Deathstroke, identity crises that they come across, abandonment? prepubescence? character development? friendships? romance and family?** "

That truly convinces him to believe that _Teen Titans_ was actually that great. He remarks responsively, " **Wow, when did ever a colorful Cartoon Network show became this deep? Now that I think about it, this show ain't bad. In fact, it's great…if _Teen Titans Go_ didn't exist. Nope, still not excusing you for being a dumb idea.**"

And with that, he gives the rest of his spiel, " **So, get ready to say 'go'.** " Accordingly, clips of Robin shouting "Titans, go!" are shown as the narrator continues. " **…once more in one of the best DC animated shows that had sure made Bruce Timm's Batman animated series proud, and had Warner Bros. Animation attempt on another take of their teenage superhero teams with these failed projects.** " He points out _Legion of Super Heroes_ , _Justice League Action_ and _Young Justice_ , but sidetracks, " ** _Young Justice_ is great though.** **And had all of us collectively agree…that reboots from Carton Network shows really sucks."** Clips from _The Powerpuff Girls_ reboot, the _Ben 10_ 2016 reboot, _Be Cool, Scooby Doo_ , _Wabbit_ and of course _Teen Titans Go!_ are shown, just to sum up his point.

That is before going to the arguably the best part of every honest trailer ever:

" **Starring:**

· **Chris O'Donnell (Robin)**

· **The T-800 (Cyborg)**

· **Star vs. The Forces of Evil (Starfire)**

· **Rowena Ravenclaw (Raven)**

· **Animorph (Beast Boy)**

· **Deadshot (Slade)**

· **Tara Reid (Terra)**

· **Michael Phelps (Aqualad)**

· **Ember from _Danny Phantom_ (Argent)**

· **The Brotherhood of Mutants (Brotherhood of Evil)**

· **Hachiko (Beast Boy as a dog)**

· **And no Justice League ever!** "

And as an icing to the cake, the narrator gives the honest title to the series: " ** _DC's The Runaways_** _"_

Closing the video, the narrator ends with this statement, " **You know it says a lot that a show is this great, even if Batman did not appear.** "

* * *

After seeing the video, the Titans are at shock of what they witnessed.

"Okay, of all the parody videos I witnessed, this has to be the most honest," Beast Boy comments.

"I have to agree, but it's kind of peculiar," Starfire adds.

"I've seen worse," Raven sullenly reacts.

"Well, at least there's one thing that this video tells us," Robin says.

"What is that?" Cyborg asks.

"That were are misrepresented by the media," Robin answers.

"You blame the media for misrepresentation?" Raven utters.

"That's why we must confront the culprits for their bastardization."

"You mean? We are?" Beast Boy asks in delight.

"To L.A., Titans, go!" And at Robin's signal, the Titans travel to Los Angeles to settle with Warner Bros. Animation for _Teen Titans Go!_ No statement has been made yet, but let it rests now on wishful thinking for a proper follow-up of the beloved _Teen Titans_. Bow.


	2. Teen Titans Go!

For some reason, the last part of the Teen Titans Honest Trailer spawned what we now know as the feature length movie called _Teen Titans Go! To the Movies_. It is just weird and kind of awesome that happened. Was it because that one of the creators read that Honest Trailer and was inspired to adapt _Teen Titans Go!_ as a feature-length movie? Who knows?

* * *

The video will start with the usual flashing of screenshots showing YouTube comments that request the video, complete with smashing sound effects, and the usual Honest Trailer green title card.

With that, the epic voice guy starts his opening spiel, with accompanying movie clips, " **When Wonder Woman soars, the Justice League crumbles and the DC Extended Universe stands in unsteady foundation, the best that DC Comics can bring us is in the smallest screens.** " Cue montage of shows under the Arrowverse, then to the DC animated series, most especially _Justice League_.

" **So, prepare for the return of the superhero team that everybody clamored from the very beginning and that made the Arrowverse possible. Here are the Teen Titans.** " After the narrator gives that epic announcement, expecting for the original Teen Titans to appear, the updated Teen Titans instead appears, confusing the narrator. " **I said…the Teen Titans.** "

But the video only projects those Titans from *ugh* _Teen Titans Go_. " **Guys, where are the Teen Titans? Hello? Can you give me…?** "

After that, the script supervisor barges in to the sound booth and whispers (cue to the gibberish whispering sound effects) the clarification to the narrator. " **What they?! They are the Teen Titans? I thought they are just the wacky anime scenes from the show?! What the…?!** " Still in disbelief, the voiceover narrator nevertheless goes on with the script, " **You know, screw it. Let's just get this over with.** _ **Teen Titans Go!**_ "

" **You loved Teen Titans for striking visuals, lovable characters, deeper themes and grounded stories that made you root for every episode. This time, expect…nothing of that. Because the first thing that pops into your mind about Teen Titans are teenagers whining about first world problems.** " Cue montage of the Fab Five's inane, childish dialogue. " **Oh, and fart jokes.** " Insert compilation of flatulence jokes and fart-related humor from every episode. " **Ughhh, well I give it this. At least it is more tolerable than** _ **The Killing Joke**_ **.** "

" **Meet the Titans, again. The gang you once loved and followed on for five seasons are now reduced to childish, chibi version of themselves to make them fit for merchandising.** " To cue that, a clip featuring Teen Titans-related merchandise is shown.

" **There's Robin, the once ardent and no-nonsense leader of the group, who is now degraded to a whiny, self-pitying version of himself. Or to put it mildly, his cinematic counterpart.** " Cue the scene-to-scene comparisons between Scott Menville's Robin and Chris O'Donnell's Robin.

" **There's Starfire, the prima donna princess from the original gang who is now…the prima donna princess of this reincarnation. But at least, she likes fashion and makeovers now.** " Cue montage of Starfire being a girly girl, which annoys the epic voice guy. " **Ughh…** "

" **There's Cyborg, half-robot, half-funny black man stereotype, whose variations of seriousness and coolness in the first one has been evolves to another black man stereotype.** " Cue scenes of Cyborg attempting to act cool. " **Why?** "

" **There's Beast Boy, who is more of the same jolly, childish and often laidback morphing youngster from the first one.** " Cue montage of Beast Boy moments that are deemed jolly and juvenile. " **So, that's a positive, I guess?** "

" **And there's Raven, the fan favorite, whose dry wit, dark aura and sulky personality has been retained…but ruined by her romantic interest in Beast Boy…** " Cue two clips featuring Beast Boy and Raven as a couple. " **…and this…** " Cue Raven playing with Pretty Pretty Pegasus, which shocks the epic voice guy. " **Oh dear, no. But I gotta give it this, at least you get an Easter egg from here. Hah?** **Hah?!** " Obviously, the epic voice narrator is trying to highlight the in-joke of the association of Raven and Pretty Pretty Pegasus, since her voice actress Tara Strong also voices Twilight Sparkle from _My Little Pony_. After failing to hammer that joke, the epic voice guy grunts.

" **Watch as you delve into the secret lives of these young superheroes, as they fight occasional villains and banter anything that gets on their nerves like any rich kid, from stalling their pizza to get free charge, cleaning up their laundry, arguing about burgers and burritos, interrogating someone for stealing a sandwich, going to school, complaining about Robin's leadership and debating about girls vs. boys, and rescuing the Easter Bunny and Lebron James?** " After learning of the absurdity of the show's episodes, the narrator wonders, " **Is this** _ **Teen Titans**_ **or** _ **Seinfeld**_ **?** " Giving that thought, after flashes of similarities between _Teen Titans Go!_ and _Seinfeld_ , he remarks, " **…because I would tune in if George Costanza is somehow inside Cyborg's body.** "

The epic voice narrator continues on with his spiel, " **Revel on animation that translated this action-packed superhero team, created by wasted 30-year-olds, to a juvenile version of that superhero team, also created by wasted 30-year-olds. And get ready for the most action you can expect from a DC animated series from the most unlikely places you can expect from this DC animated series, like an amusement park, a pie shop, an elevator, a dodgeball game, a Halloween party, a clown party, a burger house, a burrito house, a pool from the Hall of Justice?** " After catching the unintentional parallels between an NBC sitcom and a Cartoon Network show, the narrator admits, " **Woah, when I meant** _ **Seinfeld**_ **, I don't mean actual** _ **Seinfeld**_ **.** " Cue clip of Robin whining about the self-awareness. " **Well, at least we have jabs at superheroes and the show itself, so points there, I guess?** "

" **So, enjoy this annoying rehash that kids and adults would enjoy, but mostly kids since this show plays endlessly at Cartoon Network. And if you think a cartoon short series, stand-alone movie at cinemas, and five seasons of television would not be enough to annoy you, we will play perhaps the most annoying TV show theme song ever in continuous loop. Because if Cartoon Network keeps these things on marathon, so are we.** " Then the trailer plays an endless compilation of variations of the _Teen Titans Go!_ theme song and the other annoying jingles that plays in a constant loop. Then the video abruptly shows a clip from the Anchorman where Brick Tamland belches, "Loud noises!"

" **Starring:**

 **Robbin' My Childhood (Robin)**

 **Tamaranian Devil (Starfire the Terrible)**

 **Booyah! (Cyborg)**

 **Stark Raven Mad (Raven)**

 **Beast of No Nation (Beast Boy)**

" **Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow" (Bumblebee)**

 **The Santiago Twins from** _ **Step Up**_ **(Más y Menos)**

 **Jason Momoa Jr. (Aqualad)**

 **Yellow Arrow (Speedy)**

 **Team Rocket (The Wonder Twins)**

 **Burps**

 **Every Time Food is Mentioned**

 **Suicide Squad (H.I.V.E. Five)**

" **I'll make them good girls go bad" (Terra)**

 **Little Mothra (Silkie)**

 **And the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?** "

Finally, the Honest Trailer guy gives away the honest title: " _ **Teen Titans Go Away!**_ "

But before the trailer ends, he acknowledges, " **We know fans are definitely hating this series. But at least they nailed one thing right, the Batmobile requires a driver's license.** "

* * *

After that Honest Trailer was released, the Titans rest on a Dave & Buster's, chugging on root beer after learning about their movie's box office returns and seeing the trailer for the live-action television show _Titans_.

Robin's words say it all, "Sorry Batman."


End file.
